I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
