whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
