I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you never un-have a 4some
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
