Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
