I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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