Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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