So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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