i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
