I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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