She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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