I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
