i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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