Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
