Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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