i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
