capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
