Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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