i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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