I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
