No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When are your genitals available?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
