another moral hangover. fuck.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
