her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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