Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
