All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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