Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
