So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
