I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
