she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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