I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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