i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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