The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
