u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
