I just saw a hot homeless man
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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