Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
