He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
as a side note pls kill me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
