tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
