I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
