She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
