And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Did I show you my penis last night?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
