im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
