3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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