Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
a search helicopter?!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
