cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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