it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
