i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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