All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
