i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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