He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
