I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
