So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
