for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
