i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
