Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
