Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
