They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
