Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
